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Location: Bmore for the Moment, Maryland, United States

Friday, September 16, 2005

Untitled.

Woke up today with a pit in my stomach for the third time this week. The nerves and anxiety have started to build. Sept. 20th, flying to LA and the big uncertainty that lies ahead. It's not just mental anymore but physical too. I've only been here for 5 weeks... how could I have committed so many feelings in such a short period of time? Something that I've never experience before... Am I in over my head?


1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

it's human nature to get in over our heads, isnt it? we get a taste of something wonderful.. that feels so good and we just want more more more until we suddenly realize we have indulged a bit too much, before we even realize it. like when our eyes are bigger than our stomachs and we eat too much dessert. that great satiated feeling quickly turns into a big ol stomach ache...oops. im sure this is how drug addicts get addicted. but is this only a trait of the weak willed? it takes great strength and will power to do that which we percieve we are "supposed to do" and is "right" and not just what feels good to us at the momemt (is that selfishnes?). The constant struggle over the "I" and the "me" of our selves. I, the impulse, our source of creativity and personality... the subjective aspects of selfhood.. which drive us to such impulsive decisions... combating the me, that leads us to conform to behaviors that fit others expectations as to how we "ought" to behave.( reference: george mead's theories of the self)So which one wins here??? how about a comprimise... but what if what makes us feel good is what we are supposed to do? what is so wrong with enjoying life by the moment, as long as we arent hurting others in the process... we only get one, right?

12:43 PM  

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